1st Week Of July: In Which We Are Talking to the Hand Cause the Face Ain't Listenin'



Food Mood: Please People! Pulled Pork

Reno Ridiculouso: All Downhill From Here

After last weeks’ issues with walls being built too high and beams not being dealt with the Hubby and I are focusing on communication.  Because it’s not possible that Bull Talker Contractor is just willfully ignoring the plans, right?  Am I right, people??  Buuuut… he has been talking a lot lately about how he has to hurry up this job, so he can get to a “BIG JOB” in the next week or two.  The next week or two?  Buddy you haven’t resupported our second floor, built three of the walls, laid the floor (other than the joists), put up the roof joists, installed the windows… and on and on. 

It becomes like a crazy game of tag, with Bull Talker going faster and faster and paying less and less attention to safety or proper building and the Hubby running along behind trying to get him to stop and think.  With the blessings of his awesome workmates (who are all construction guys), the Hubby takes a few weeks off work to try and get this thing under control and STOP THE MADNESS!!

We bring in the Architect who calmly and evenly explains again to Bull Talker how he can’t go any further until he puts in the beam on the back of the old house.  The Hubby offers advice with pictures on how the second floor can be held up while the beam is replaced and offers to do it with Bull Talker as we’ve done this before.  Nothing.  Bull Talker is full of I got this. Don’t worry man.  God you’re like my mom following me around and nagging me! 

And then, because we want our house to move forward and we have a lot invested in this and it took us bloody forever to find a contractor in this GD city, we start simplifying the plans.  We accept the way higher walls then planned even thought the logic of them continues to escape us.  But we can’t start taking shit down now people, there is no backwards on this march, only forwards!   We buy different windows, that work easier with what’s been done.

Our neighbours start pitching in, which is always a sign in our hood that you are dangerously close to losing your sh*&t.  Cupcakes begin randomly showing up for us.  Across the street we have a wicked awesome neighbour guy who we’ll call He Who Watches.  He has some chronic conditions so mostly he sits on his porch, reads and acts as the unofficial counsellor to the neighbourhood at large.  He Who Watches along with Construction Neighbour 1 and Construction Neighbour 2 calm the Hubby at night, offer suggestions and alternatives and, most of all, just listen.  

At He Who Watches house we always keep “emergency rations”: a bottle of Jim Beam that is at his place and is nominally his.  He Who Watches doesn’t drink though, so in reality it’s there for when things are desperate and we borrow his bottle and replace it.  In the last five years we’ve done this about three times.  By the end of this summer we’ll do it five times, it’s an emergency rations kinda’ summer.  

And do you know what emergency rations goes well with? Pulled pork, so here ya go!

Please People! Pulled Pork
One biggish butt joint of pork (Butt Joint.  Like Bull Talker.  That guy is one Butt Joint! 😊 )
One bottle of bbq sauce that you like, we use bourbon bbq sauce to go with the Emergency Rations Bourbon from next door
Put the roast in the crockpot, pour the bottle of sauce over, cook for eight hours
When you get home, take the pork out and empty out all the sauce
Pull the roast into strings and put it back in the crockpot with a new half bottle of bbq sauce, we like Applewood Smoked. Cook for 30 minutes to an hour.

Serve on crusty buns with some cut up tomatoes and cucumbers along side.  Because you’re tired, dammit and you can’t make a super f’ing salad every day of the week.  So there. 😊



Hello! Thanks for stopping by to check out my recipes and commiserate with my (our) misery. Misery loves company! I live in Toronto with my husband and little girl. We have spent a year (yep, that's right, renovating our home) About seven months into this crazy renovation I thought to myself, this has got to be funny or it will be pathetic! And so, I have chosen for funny! This is my collection of mostly crockpot (although sometimes not) recipes paired with the days (weeks, months) that inspired them. Please share your best reno stories and crockpot recipes too.

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